Ridiculous Requests and Non-Reciprocation

Another good heel thing to do is to make ridiculous requests for things.  And to make sure you never reciprocate.  A lot of times I ask for apologies even when someone hasn't done anything wrong.  When they say "Apology for what?" I say that it doesn't have to be for anything.  Then I offer some lame explanation like it's just good to apologize regardless.  That never goes over well.

Also I like to ask the person I bother MOST to vouch for me when it's most important.  I told my coworker that I bother a lot, "When it's Judgment Day, and I'm standing before the Lord, I know I can count on you to vouch for me and tell the man upstairs what a good man I've been."  The result is an akward, "Uhhh... you better find someone else dude!"  Then we all get a good laugh.

As far as non-reciprocation goes, I mentioned before I usually like to sit in a coworker's chair for no reason.  But then I tell them when I have to go out to make sure that NOBODY sits in my chair.  One day that coworker showed me a photo of her and her friend in my chair, and I acted like I was deeply offended.  And told them to promise me they'd never do that again.  Did they promise?  No.  Was I entitled to such a promise?  No.  But I did my best to act like I was.  Classic heel behavior.

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